During my re-indoctrination into singlehood, I have met a lot of men. I don’t know why there was the big uproar a few years ago about women over a certain age not being able to marry. As far as I can tell, the world is full of men, both single men and married men wanting to pretend they’re not.

No, I’m not digressing. Promise. Hold on…

At first, I didn’t know what to expect. And there were a lot of men who were self-centered jerks. I started to think that’s all there was.

So then when you meet one of the sweet ones, you really notice. Sad but true. It should be the other way around. It should be that most of the men are sweet and it’s the jerks that stand out. But, no, the jerks seem to outnumber the nice ones.

And, oh my, does this apply to marketing!! This totally ties in with my “marketing is like dating” theory!

Think how many times you actually welcome a marketing message from a company? Um…never? Well, at least rarely. That’s because the company wants your money but they’ve put that want first, ahead of anything that you might want. And they talk at you, not to you. (Remember my mantra? Talk to the customer, not at them.)

So dating the guys who talk about themselves, have little if any interest in you, and want to get straight to you know what, well, they are akin to the marketers who…talk about themselves, have little if any interest in you, and want to get straight to you know what, aka taking your money.

Ladies, guys, marketers: I have seen the light. I have recently experienced what it’s like to have someone be nice, caring, sincere and interested in me. Wayne is to his chagrin, a nice guy (he thinks “nice guy” has a negative connotation). A very nice guy, I might add. And marketers could learn loads by his example because:

• He’s interested in what I want first
• He asks questions rather than doing all the talking
• He checks in, stays engaged
• He is authentic and real

And these are all traits admirable in a marketer too.

Oh, did I mention he’s cute and smart and funny and likes my cooking and has really nice arms? OK, marketers don’t have to do or be all that. But you should be using all the other stuff on that list as a checklist for yourself! Like it or not, you are dating that prospect! And they might hand over their number, they might even go to dinner with you, you might get pretty far along. But they might not convert to a customer if you are acting like a self-serving jerk only intent on getting into their—ahem--wallet.

You can be the in-your-face, here-for-the-money-then-I’m-gone type marketer who talks at customers, not to them, who gets the one-time sale, not the long-term relationship. That’s easy, that’s what most marketers do.

Or you can be something else. You can be successful over the long haul.

Marketing is like dating. I guess it boils down to what you’re really after: a one night stand? Go for it. But your success will be fleeting and will require that you oft repeat it, compared to the marketer with the loyal customer base who gains fans for the long haul.